4 ON THE FLOOR is a weekly look at the history of the Dark Lich's blog, what's happened since then, and whether people still read his blog. All of it in celebration of the 4th anniversary of Think Happy Thoughts.
Ever fall in love with your friend?
It could be a girl friend (or even a boy friend if you’re also a boy, I don’t discriminate) of yours that you’ve hung out for a while. It could be a neighbor, a classmate or a pen pal. It starts out okay…friends take care of each other right? The lunch outs, the calls late at night when their boyfriend’s a dick…then slowly but surely, the pats on the back and the arm-in-arm walking and the calls late at night take on a whole new meaning.
That’s what happened to me after the nigh-embarrassing moments I recalled with you in the last 4 ON THE FLOOR. My psyche, while healing, was still pretty weak, so it reached out to the first person that treated me better than the last one. And it just so happened it was my friend.
The fact that she’s a best friend with the girl I first courted and failed at didn’t help matters, but I didn’t care. Here was a girl who didn’t treat me like shit and was really nice to me. A pretty straightforward person as I recall, as I’ve had enough of the weird ones. She was a friend to me, and we watched each other's back. But then I found myself waiting at the window of the bus to Lucban hoping to catch a glimpse of her house and looking for hidden meanings behind her “I miss you”s and trying to find hidden agendas behind her niceness.
I was in love. With my friend. The worst and the best scenario for love, depending on whom you’re asking.
I drove myself crazy for weeks thinking of how to tell her. It's like a texbook case, right? The set up was perfect! I imagined it being absolutely awesome with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye, and holding my hand as she said the magic words…
Except she didn’t. Needless to say it really doesn’t work out the way you plan it to be.
And I went home alone that day.
But for some strange reason I didn’t run away like a complete sissy after that rejection. I didn’t feel sad or torn or whatever…I felt free. Instead of crying my eyes out till they bled before I slept, I wept for a couple of minutes then went back to whatever it is I’d rather be doing.
I learned an important lesson that day…a lesson I carry until now. I didn’t cry simply because what I felt wasn’t real. My immature mind latched onto her affection and caring and attached meanings to them that weren’t really there. It was infatuation, plain and simple, and once again I’m glad that I learned it from her.
Right now she’s leading her own life…I don’t know if she’s already in a relationship or if she’s still not ready to have one. All I can say is that I hope she finds someone who’s worth it, and hopefully not as dumb as I was!
But did my fascination with the ‘friends or lovers’ mentality stop there? And did I ever see myself making money or becoming famous with whatever shit I wrote in this blog? You’ll probably find out in the next installment of 4 ON THE FLOOR, our road to the 4th anniversary of Think Happy Thoughts!
I bet most of you can relate with what I wrote just now. Let’s talk it over until the next installment comes in! Thanks for reading!
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